Chain Surfer

If you are impatient, click to 20 secs in....

This guy is the best chain surfer in the whole chain surfing community.

Tricycle Hard.

This is the best thing I've seen since I was a little girl.

the long awaited return of a legend

Upon review of our current work I have crowned... not a champion, but a legend, a legend that deserves our respect and honor. For this man has put his heart (and eyeballs) on his sleeve and spoke the truth for several generations, and it is this kind of commitment to crown and country that deserves something... special.

So to you.... dude, we say... keep it up?

because I haven't posted in a few days...or another friday in London.

This was pretty cool. It was cold but fun.



Thanks to steve at LFP on twitter for lettin' me know that was happening.

Best pool toy evar!!!!

Amazing New Water-Powered Jet Pack - Watch more free videos

Malcolm X

This man is a true Hero. I love nearly everything he says.

Listen.

The beginning of the END

I knew that the day would come when the "end of days" would be clear.

Detailed here by the New York Times, the paper of record you know, it became clear to me that not only do these YOUNG, FERTILE, and NUBILE ladies need my bald man love, but they also need the help of a one eyed love stud, and the brown bear of banging (named for the smooth hair covering his entire body except for two thin lines on either side of the spine and his inability to stop his "bouncing leg syndrome")

We are off to the next meeting, click here to watch the changes in real time

Posted by C posing as J

Missing Person Alert.

Will it Shred? That is the question.

I think it is fair to say that we all owe 10% of our earnings to Tom Dickson the host of Will it Blend.

For anyone who doesn't know this internet sensation (I feel sad for you) please watch my favorite episode:



But Mr. Dickson has some competition with Watch it Shred, a shredder company that can mulch anything. Repeat, ANYTHING.

The Blue Tile Lounge

Old schoolers will know.

Bring it on, please.

There has been a lot of complaints to TFMR recently about the lack of cheerleading.

I assure you that this was not intentional in anyway but merely "one of those things" that regeretibly slipped through the cracks.

Please accept our appologies.


Also, is what we see below even possible?

Whow! I'm depressed now...

If only I were brave. A Brave Captain...

The Daily FUCK YOU!!!

Today's Daily FUCK YOU goes to the good Folks over at AFM Harvesters for their invention of the Special Harvester Head.

Their idea is to make Deforestation more Profitable. In short, these tools will put loggers out of work and make clearing a large number of trees as easy as....well watch the video.

***WARNING*** This video will give hippies and tree-huggers nightmares.


The next video is an accurate and clear demonstration of how logging should work.

Weregoat?

Satyr, Lycan, Shape Shifter or Weregoat. Whatever you call it, the shit is real (as I have been saying since 5th grade). And now Nigerian police are backing me up and even Reuters is reporting on it.

Let me lay this out as simply as possible:

Some dudes in Nigeria were in the midst of an armed robbery when shit went pear-shaped. A group of Vigilantes got word of the crime and stormed the scene. They chased off the two robbers and then pursued the armed men on foot.

This is where it gets weird so I use the quote, "one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat,".

Yes. TURNED INTO A GOAT.

That is a from the mouth of the Police Spokesperson from Kwara state, Nigeria.

The goat is currently in custody on suspicion of armed robbery.

Read it in all it's glory HERE.

(special thanks to Mokes for the scoop.)

Because it's Halloween

This is way better than the original.
But still not as good as these guys.
And no where near as good as this 3 year old.

Chewbacca in Your South American Cop

via videosift.com

More in the same vein.

Stars Wars In Your Drawers

Right or wrong?

Please look at the faces along the right hand side of this picture and you tell me... right, or... wrong.




The choice is obvious.

Deeper man, deeper

Friday night in London

Last Friday I went to a punk rock show in London... good times.

I went to see the cerimonial snips, may favorite band at the moment.



I got to scream into the microphone and get really drunk, it was great!

There was another band called Radio Delete there that was pretty good too. Bunch of old skaters who covered Face to Face and had a song entirely of quotes from future primitive and seach for animal chin. Their old band name was Daily Murders.

So I'm at the bar getting another drink and I see this 6'4 dude on the other side wearing this T shirt. I nearly pissed my pants.



How great is that?! I forgot to ask him what he's doing to best that whole easter thing that happened...

I'm sorry to say that the snips new stuff is pop punk and I'm not a huge fan but who knows maybe they'll smarten up soon.

Fuck I Hate Hate Hate Cords

NO NO NO These cords...

Another Five Minute Rule?

Thicke Sweaters.

Born Alan Willis Jeffery in 1947 somewhere near Kirkland Lake, Ontario (Canada's bottled water capital) and best know for his role as Jason Seaver on the hit 80's sitcom "Growing Pains", Alan Thicke is under appreciated for his ability to rock a sweater.

Allen has never been given the full sweater recognition he deserves. Historians in sweater lineage have found notable spikes in sweater appreciation that corresponds directly with Season 3 and 4 of Thicke's hit show Growing Pains. (The two seasons that Alan tested out his most adventurous sweaters.) And yet, there is scarcely a mention of his contribution to sweater wearing anywhere in print or on the web.

And for that, we are all poorer.

Growing Pains creator Neal Marlens said, "Alan loved his fucking sweaters and know what? So did America. At first I was like, what the fuck is going on here? But when the public lapped it up I was thinking, Fuck yes. Cha-Ching!".


Screenshot of a Thicke sweater in action.

In 1986 the future looked bright, not only for Alan, but the sweater community at large.

Growing Pains continued on it's successful path and gave career starts to actors Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt.

In 1988 tragedy struck. Rising fast on the TV guide charts was the surprise smash hit "The Cosby Show". Already on their 4th season, the show's leading director Jay Sandrich knew it was time to make a change. "People were getting bored of Cliff and Clare, Rudy was no longer cute and Theo was too stoned to wrap an episode around. I'll admit we were fucking panicked. But when we saw the success of Alan Thicke's sweaters we knew we had our saviour", Sandrich said.

Riding in on Alan's sweater strings, The Cosby Show hit the knitted community with full force.

In a brilliant marketing gamble not only were Cosby's sweaters given the show's leading role but also offered to the public for sale.

Cosby whoring his sup-par sweater line

It was a windfall and the Cosby show took over the number one spot in the ratings.

Seeing the undeniable sweater success in the Cosby court, Growing Pains execs attempted to release some of Alan's sweaters on the market but Alan, a sweater purist, would have no part of it thus doomed the endeavor.

"He just would do it. I begged, for hours I begged", says Co-Star Kirk Cameron, "He just didn't care. It wasn't about the Money for Al, it was about the integrity of the sweater.".

The Cosby Sweater success soon eclipsed not only Alan's sweaters but his show as well. Growing Pains began to slunk in the ratings and was moved from it's primetime slot.

By 1990 the heat was on the show's Wardrobe department and specifically on Key Costume Designer Judith Brewer Curtis. "I tried everything, Sweater Vests with Ties, Acapulco Shirts and Leather Jackets...My marriage went to shit, my kids still don't talk to me, I was powerless. Fucking Powerless!!!", Curtis said in a rare phone interview from her mental Care facility (that Alan continues to pay for to this day).

Despite their best attempts, without the support of Alan Thicke's sweaters the show lost the thread that kept it together

The show was cancelled in fall of 92'.

Alan went on to have an impressive career but there has been a palpable void in his work and life.

Alan's famous sweaters have been noticeably absent for more than ten years but in June of 2006 the Thicke Sweater made a triumphant comeback in an unexpected appearance at the Celebrity Pro-am golf Tournament.

Thicke at the Celeb Golf Tornament with some random dude.

Alan has refused to comment on his sweaters in any official capacity but quipped at the celebrity Golf Tournament, "Sweater? I don't even know her!", he said.

Leading Sweater Historian Arturo Beckett responded to Thicke's statement with, "It's not much but to the sweater community it gives a lot of warmth.".

Cerfs up.

Vint Cerf
'the father of the Internet'

I love this man. Nay, love is too small. I want to be raped by him.

Was that too much?

Anyway, this is a super high res pic of Uncle Vint (click it) It's the perfect size if you wanna print it out and glue it to a piece of foamcore board and then prop it up across the table as if you and he were having tea or something.

And maybe you just said something stupid about him raping you and then really slowly he looks up at you from his tea with one raised eyebrow as if to say, "that's not funny, young man.".

Even though you can see that he kinda thought it was funny a little.

Face to face - live

This is such a great live band. Were a great live band. Were.

Who needs hHead

Friday Learning Session

Well, it is the end of the week and lets just say if your ass has been here at least once to look at this stupid shit we post you're an asshole and you should go back to school...

Consider you're self skooled Morrisay!

Hit in the head with a Hammer

There is a really great article that has confirmed my suspicions that severe head trauma is unfairly demonized.

I often find punching myself in the head when I'm stuck on a thought-problem helps me focus and arrive at the answer more swiftly.

Sadly this behavior is "not acceptable" or "a sign of mental disorder" . At least that is what my team of psychologists and psychotherapists would have me believe.

However, the good folks over at wiseperception.com have published an interesting article that seems to contradict everything Dr. Stupid-face has been telling me at group for the last (court ordered) 18 months.


Excerpt from the article:

"Individuals have been known to develop extraordinary abilities much later in life, or after severe brain trauma. Alonzo Clemons, for example, developed an incredible talent, which appears to have emerged directly following a head injury as a child. He can see a fleeting image (on a television screen for example) of any animal, and in less than 20 minutes sculpt a perfect replica of that animal in three-dimensional accuracy. The wax animal is correct in each and every detail, down to each fiber and muscle.

Imagine being able to learn one of the most difficult languages on Earth, Icelandic, in just 7 days. Well known Savant, Daniel Tammet, makes is look easy. His extraordinary abilities are linked to synesthesia. He "feels" numbers in terms of texture, shape and color. Some scientists believe that the epileptic seizures he suffered as a small child, which nearly ended his life, somehow unlocked the door to an incredible ability that may be inherent in all humans."


Next time I sit down for a one-to-one I'm going to let these stupid Dr.'s know how wrong they are.

Reykjavik Hill?

Are they rioting over the economy and the value of the dollar, after all the IMF says all is well, and with their history of SAPS how could they be wrong? I think it is because they don't know how to do comedy properly... this is just shameful..

Even Johnny won't laugh at this shit. Benny Hill looks like a fuckin legend now.

Iceland Heats Up

First of all, I am sorry for that title.

Secondly, have you seen what is going on in Iceland? Shit is bananas!

Back in september Bjork was all "help iceland, please", but no one was listening. Now the country's currency is disposable, no one can find a job and you need to take a out a loan to buy a veggie burger.

The young people are understandably irritated (as you'd expect) and began throwing peaceful demonstrations. The Government and Business elite ignored the demonstrations (as you'd expect) and now the shit has hit the motherfucking fan.

The demonstrations have ballooned to include regular non-political types and the "Government" has been forced to lock themselves away from a huge mob of torch wielding citizens ranging from young anarchists to concerned grandmothers, all of them hell bent on taking back their country from the big business assholes who have screwed them over.

In short, it is revolution time in Reykjavik.

Shit, that would have been a better title: Revolution in Reykjavik.

Next time, I promise.

Yes, that is a horse fetus

tooked from: incredimazing.com

Wrestling VS Wrestling VS Wrestling.

Japanese women's wrestling. Vicious. Unmerciful. Horny.


Mexican Wrestling. Acrobatic. Masks. Confusing.


Oldschool WWF Wrestling. Theatrical. Silly. Racist.

Sweet revenge

These two shitheads have to pay the gov't of Ontario (that's in Canada) 100 MILLION bucks, or 79 MILLION in uni-coloured money!

Story stolen from here

The First World

We live in a digital ghetto and according to the BBC LIBYA (seen here from the air if we lived in a cartoon like world) are going to leap frog a shitload of countries including US and the U.S. when they roll out their new WIMAX system next week.
We suck!
Go Ghaddafi (click HERE for awesome article!!!)

Hacking Road Signs

Awesome thread over at ihacked.com

Has pics and instructions on how to hack road signs.

This is nearly never a smart idea as the signs are there for safety. However, once in awhile you see one that says happy holidays or something equally useless. In that case you are semi-obligated to alter it.

I DO NOT want to kill Johnny

In fact it's hard to put into words...

so

I've hired a man from the Seventies with big ears to sing my wishes to you Johnny

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

bro hymn...for johnny...(see post below)

Johnny's eyes only

Johnny,

as a close person friend I feel it is my duty to inform you of something. Of course seeing as I can't tell you what it is without endangering myself, let me put it like this.: Chris is trying to kill you

Just thought you should know.

Love Rav (steve)

Yep They Is Old... and so are we

freak scene

then.


and now.

The funiest thing I saw in 2008... you know what I'm talking about...

MEMORIES.... DA DA DA DA, DA DA DA.... DA DA DA DA DA.... DAAAAAAA DA. IT WAS AT LAST CHRISTMAS......





Eg #2



and again....

Breakin all the Rules

Hey, this post is EXACTLY 37 seconds over Five Minutes!
I know, I know too early to breakin the rules but if some guy walked up to you and said "Hey! You could have a Vagina in your pocket 24/7 but it's going to cost you 37 seconds" you'd be cool with that right?



Sweet sweet paper pussy

Quite possibly the best skater alive.

I litterally scream when i watch this.



(sorry about the music)

Fast food, greasy food....

good ole google vidieos....

Mike V. kickin' ass. Not funny but good stuff.

here is a picture that I took of princess Tobie-Tobertson.
This is my first post on line, I don't know what I'm doing and I can't insert the revolution mother youtube link I wanted because I don't know how.

For Steve

Click here to make your dreams come true!

oh hell ya take 2

Oh Hell Ya!

I'd tap that... again!

Junkie smurf

These people are smarter than me: Click

And the transportation revolution was born.

From: here

If you don't dance to this... you're dead

Change... Change we can believe in

A new hope for a new man,




ME BITCHES! This is a "DICK"tatorship

EDIT: HAHAHAHAH AWESOME........is there anything online you don't know about?

Peace?

WAR IS OVER! (If You Want It) from Yoko Ono on Vimeo.

Can we be friends again? Johnny would want it that way.

Ravi... you are not Ravi

No one will live up to the magical musical talents of the real Ravi... not even if they have Johnny's love on their side



At best sir, you can only be an imposter

For Johnny

In keeping with the bad ass nature of this shit here is the meanest baddest song there is... it's all bout the money see!



Johnny's anthem

We Luv U.

I change my mind about all of what I said.

I just want Johnny to post something and I'm tired of guessing what kind of family he wants us to be.

If he wants a cuddle he knows where to go.

We murder U.

This might be our mandate.

We are the toughest on the internet and will rape your eyeballs if you don't agree. We're so mad all the time it is scary. And you should have scared-ness of us equal to our rage because we are scary. We say fuck grammar. Plus remember the eye rape thing? That shit is freels, yo.

We don't post pics of cute kittens on this page. Fuck no. If there is a cat here, it's like been on fire or some shit. Plus that cat in the pic up there (scroll up) saved the fireman and not the other way around. That's how we roll, so watch it.

We are tough. We murder U.

The Rubber Boys

The first video to define the internet.

I have sexual feelings again.

The original.



And the greatest cover of it.



Posted by ravi

How to dispose of a dead body.

This is really just the ice breaker.  This is really just to get the first post out of the way.  This is just to get the ball rolling.

On a forum (I don't remember which one) a while back someone asked "how do I get rid of a dead body.  A lot of silly answers followed but this was one of the answers....

First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't recommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.

If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an entire body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.